shuruuu

Annyeonggggg! Im here again with another story of mine! Im going to share my feelings after done watching an English movie based on true story (the movie title was showed in chinese name so i dont know what is the exact name in English) It's about a person(a boy) which suffered from a sickness called Tourette's syndrome since hw was 7 years old. Tourette's syndrome is a neurological disorder characterized by involuntary tics and vocalizations and often the compulsive utterance of obscenities. This disorder made him keep making weird sounds and action. So, he had been discriminated by people until his school headmaster showed him up in front of everyone in school and gave him a chance to talk about his sickness. People probably started to understand his difficult and his teachers and friends no longer see him as a weirdo or freak anymore. But when he grew up, he was facing a new environment and new people too. People refused to recruit him even though his resume was really interesting and had an outstanding result just because of his loyal friend (tourette's syndrome). Being a teacher was his biggest dream and he never gave up on it even though his illness never leave him alone. After all, he managed to be a teacher!!! He found his love either, nothing is impossible! Isn't that inspiring???  

Sometimes anxiety hits me so hard but I realized i definitely will be okay later because i always find ways to make me feel better. Maybe i don't know how to cope with it before, but now i think im so much better and stronger to fight it now! At some times in the past, people called me ugly, black, tigress, mee kolok (because of my natural super curly hairs)HAAHAHA ! Everytime i heard about it, i might look calm but im died inside. I feel like wannabe invisible so that no one would notice me in this world. Maybe because of those 'inspiring' words, i tried many new things, like straightening my hairs in saloon, makeup, dressing up etc. Thank you so much :) Yep it is not easy to deal with criticism but there is only one thing i always reminding myself: If i continue to let myself down, nothing gonna change and i only remain the same me. No! I won't let it work! So, now normally i will search for positives vibes like reading quote, book, watching a movie, doing workout and so on just to let myself feel better! I know i am not perfect, im just a human being that full of flaws like anyone would say so. Therefore, flaws can be changed! I always believe in it. I never losing hope to make myself more alive i mean being more confident. I am that girl who thinking herself is ugly and always wanted to be like somebody else. Yeah! I never deny about it tho. But but but now I know how to control myself stop thinking nonsense and get myself a life! During these recent years, I started to playing with makeup more seriously and yeahhhhh i can be pretty either but in the same time i accept the truth that im actually not pretty (without makeup). Makeup is fun and interesting that can made my day :D Btw, one day, i surely will go for micro plastic surgery because i always wanted to be more confident hahahah. Im not afraid to let people know what im going to do because that is my dream and how i wanna be better  =) I also wanted a toned body even i did some home workouts now but i think that are not enough, ahhhh there are so many things i wanna fulfill em.  

One fine day, i will just like the boy in the movie, be able to achieve for what he aimed for. Have faith and keep it up !!!